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Warning: Do Not Read If You are Happy

Hm. It's past 12 am and everyone in my house is asleep.

you know what's weird? i'm most awake when everyone is asleep. when i'm alone... quiet... inside this house. i used to call this place my home... sweet home; now i don't know what it is. i don't know where i should be. things have been happening. things out of my control. i am only eighteen years old, and already i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders. i did my best to be happy, to make everyone else happy, but once i asked for a break, everything around me comes crumbling down. life shouldn't be this hard. for me. for anyone. life's a bitch and i am powerless when it comes to bitching back.

i know i am moody. i am definitely not perfect, even almost always flawed. i am neither striking nor brilliant, but i have my moments.

now i'm just lost. always wandering. always wondering. of possibilities, of hopes, and of dreams. never really having the chance to execute. always an obstacle. always a wall. always allowing myself to be hesitant to give my all.

i'm tired.

i want to rest.

rest as if there's no tomorrow. sleep as if i never have to wake up.

i am emo.

whatever.